Why hire a qualified writer when you can get me for the same price?

"Your boy, BJR" (jerseyshoreben) 04/26/2016 at 19:33 • Filed to: None

6

22

Pros:

-I can bring style to the jalopnik offices.

-Hair.

-Sexy new jersey accent.

-I have Ted Cruze on my side

-I’d be the only jalopnik author to crush a round taillight BMW 2002

-Cannolis

Cons:

-None.

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 19:37

0

At least you managed to not get the crapper in the picture... or perhaps it’s the crapper stall protecting you. So much style, so suave.

Xyl0c41n3 > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 19:37

3

Are you eating in a public restroom? Ewww.

Your boy, BJR > Xyl0c41n3 04/26/2016 at 19:40

10

It's the private bathroom in my office at the Italian deli/strip club/auto body shop/create your own NJ stereotypical workplace

PushToStart > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 19:44

0

Is it an ice cream sandwich?

TheHondaBro > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 19:44

0

Is that sign behind you in... *shudders* Comic Sans?!?!

Your boy, BJR > PushToStart 04/26/2016 at 19:45

2

What, you never heard of a cannoli?

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 19:46

2

It looks like you’ve picked up some poop with a tissue.

XJDano > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 19:46

0

I think you are applying in wrong place.

Xyl0c41n3 > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 19:47

3

Still... Aerosolized fecal particles.

No food in the bathroom, dude. C’mon!

Dusty Ventures > Xyl0c41n3 04/26/2016 at 19:49

11

*Suddenly has second thoughts about that sandwich eaten in the morgue last week*

JRapp: now as good as new again > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 19:55

0

Somewhat related: I once had a manager that conducted a phone-interview while sitting on the toilet. What gave him away was the person flushing in the next stall over. The applicant complained, and the dude got written up.

Your boy, BJR > Xyl0c41n3 04/26/2016 at 19:56

3

Psh like it's any dirtier than the rest of New Jersey.

Xyl0c41n3 > Dusty Ventures 04/26/2016 at 19:58

0

Somehow, that seems less gross to me. Heh.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Dusty Ventures 04/26/2016 at 19:58

0

Surprisingly I’d rather eat in a morgue than a public bathroom. That said I’d chose my own houses bathroom over both of them

PushToStart > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 19:59

0

hahaha I definitely have, I just couldn’t tell what it was from that picture

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 20:07

0

Pretty creative interpretation of shitposting

Your boy, BJR > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/26/2016 at 20:17

6

If it's good enough for Tavarish.....

RallyWrench > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 20:40

0

As a round taillight 2002 owner and zealot, I cannot endorse.

Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 21:35

0

You remind me heavily of Moriarity in that picture

Like, freakishly

El Rivinado > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 21:52

0

Plus, Jalopnik can be the only site with its own real life Patrick Bateman.

thatsmr > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2016 at 22:49

0

Horrible shirt collar

Big Bubba Ray > Your boy, BJR 04/27/2016 at 00:33

0

Rolland for FP!

You have my vote.